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Can live-in together before marriage escape a divorce?

My beautiful doctor daughter was to get married on 2nd October this year. We selected this date and thought it was a blessed day since it was the Guardian Angles day but just a month before, her in-laws called her and said that, they as marriage counsellors, feel that their son and she should live-in together before marriage since they come across so many divorces. Ofcourse, both the bride and we, her parents were not willing to accept this sudden change of plans for postponement of the marriage and have cancelled it.

Now, My innocent daughter has lost complete faith in both, parents and son - this couple teach religion classes, conduct marriage preperation courses and they themselves had approached us with the marriage of their son with our daughter.

We have tremendous faith in our Lord and know that whatever has happened has happened for the good of our child - that her guardian angels protected her and us, but please pray that she finds someone suitable and trustworthy. 

-Jasmine

Some of us are asking God "why" questions. Why am I going through this? Why won't you take it away? Why is this in my life now? Why don't I seem to be getting a breakthrough?

Each and every one of us has at some point in our lives felt hopelessness, despair, anxiety, scared and all alone. Every one of us has felt that we couldn't handle whatever our situation was at  times. Every one of us has felt so far away from God that we couldn't even remember who it was we were supposed to be calling on.

Periodically, I have to remind myself to stop worrying about any situation. Sometimes I have to remember that when I turn my problems over to God and LEAVE them at the alter, not to turn right around and pick them back up. Sometimes I have to reach deep down inside of myself and remember to call on the name of Jesus. Every now and then, I have to force myself to get down on my knees and pray; even when I don't feel like it. Every now and then I have to ask God to forgive me for not trusting him in the midst of my situation.

Every now and then I have to ask God to forgive me for forgetting about him, especially when I know that he has not forgotten about me.

The Lord says, My grace is sufficient.

My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in your weakness.

QUESTION:

Should I move in with my boyfriend before we get married? It seems like a smart move, because you want to really know a person before you commit to life together.

ANSWER:

Most cohabiting couples who hope to marry see their arrangement as a good test run, a way to make sure that they're compatible before tying the knot. After all, who wants to go through a divorce?

Aside from all of the spiritual factors regarding premarital sex, let's take a look at what researchers have found about living together before marriage. Two researchers summarized the findings of numerous studies by stating that "expectation of a positive relationship between cohabitation and marital stability . . . has been shattered in recent years by studies conducted in several Western countries."

What the studies discovered is this: if you don't want to get divorced, don't move in until after the wedding. Why is that? Consider the following facts about cohabitation: Most couples who live together never end up getting married, but those who do tie the knot are almost twice as likely to divorce as couples who don't live together before marriage. Overall, the divorce rate of cohabiting couples is about 80%, and non-virgin brides are 60% more likely to end up divorced than women who enter marriage as virgins. Couples who cohabited prior to marriage have greater marital conflict and poorer communication, and they made more frequent visits to marriage counselors. Women who cohabited before marriage are more than three times as likely to cheat on their husbands within marriage. The US Justice Department found that women who cohabit are sixty-two times more likely to be assaulted by a live-in boyfriend than by a husband. They were also more than three times as likely to be depressed as married women, and the couples were less sexually satisfied than those who waited for marriage.

So, from a standpoint of marital duration, marital peace, marital fidelity, physical safety, emotional well-being, and sexual satisfaction, cohabitation isn't exactly a recipe for happiness. Even INDIA Today reported, "Could this be true love? Test it with courtship, not cohabitation." You may assume that if the couple had lived together a bit longer, they would have ironed out the difficulties and not had these problems in marriage. The studies show the opposite: longer cohabitations are associated with a higher likelihood of divorce. Now, even if you don't think that your boyfriend would be abusive or that you would get depressed, the divorce rate speaks for itself.

Like all of us, you dream of a lasting love. If you're serious about making this relationship work, save your marriage before it starts and don't move in until after the wedding.

 

 

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