Proverbs 22: 13
The lazy person claims,
“There’s a lion out there! If I go outside, I might be killed!”
This proverb refers to an excuse a lazy person might use to avoid going to work.
The excuse sounds silly to us, but that's often how our excuses sound to others.
Don't rationalize laziness.
Take your responsibilities seriously and get working on what God's called you to.
As the laziest husband in Britain, shameless Kevin Pyle never lifts a finger around the house.
He even gets long-suffering wife Karen to squeeze paste on to his toothbrush and watches from the window while she mows the grass.
From putting his socks on for him to changing the TV channel, Karen knows only too well the lengths her bone idle other half will go to avoid putting himself out — because she fill in the gaps.
In fact no job is too small for Kevin to delegate to his exhausted family.
He also “employs” his kids, Karl, 18, and 13-year-old Charlotte to do his chores — but has never rewarded either with a penny.
Karen moans: “He’s got worse over the years. He barely does anything for himself now.”
Kevin and Karen, both 35, live in Fenham, Newcastle. They have been together since they were teenage sweethearts and she has endured 22 YEARS of his idleness.
Karen says: “He definitely wasn’t as lazy as he is now when we first met! I think he’s getting worse as he’s getting older. I run his bath and swirl the water so there’s bubbles.
“Sometimes he will be holding his toothbrush but he will call for us to come and put toothpaste on it, even though it’s right in front of him.
“I do it all for him because I love him — I must do to put up with him!
“He never answers the phone, even if I’m in the bath — I have to get out and pick it up.”
Karen continues: “A typical day starts with me bringing him a full English breakfast in bed with tea.
“Then he will lie there and ask for me to get his socks out of the drawer. Once they are out, sometimes he asks me to put them on for him.
Socks appeal ... Karen puts Kevin's socks on for him
“Then he goes to work. Despite being so lazy, he finds it easy to wake up on a morning.
“When he comes in from work on an afternoon, he toots his horn so we know he is there. That’s his signal for us to come out and close the garden gates so he doesn’t have to.
“Then I cook his tea for him. At meal times he’s always asking us to fetch him the salt, sauce, a tin of beer or even for us to pick up his knife and fork when they are only across the kitchen table.
“He can’t be bothered to reach over and get them.
“Then he goes to bed straight after dinner. We will be sitting downstairs and Kevin is constantly shouting for us to go up and switch the telly over, turn the volume up, or change DVDs.”
Man of leisure Kevin says: “I think I’ve got it right. When I tell the lads at work what Karen and the kids do for me, they can’t believe it.
“But I say if your woman is sitting at home all day, then that’s what she’s there for.”
Kevin’s kids describe him as a good chef with a knack for cooking curries, — though he only bothers twice a month.
“I do enjoy cooking, and every now and then I will make something,” says Kevin.
“But I get Karen to chop all the ingredients, and I sit on a stool in front of the hobs. The only thing I do well is barbecues. I’m a barbecue king and don’t like anyone else interfering.”
Kevin also never cuts the grass, leaving it up to Karen.
She says: “He started to do it once, but only got a third of the way round and gave up because it was too hard. I had to take over.
Karen cuts the grass
“Now I will nag him to do it but he never gets round to it. He can’t say it’s because he doesn’t have the time — he just doesn’t want to.
“When it is overgrown, I’ll struggle to mow it, but Kevin will just look from the window and put his thumb up. It drives me mad.”
Kevin imposes a “no driving” rule on the weekend, leaving it up to his wife to chauffeur him about.
He loathes shopping and says: “I can’t remember when I went last. If we go to the Metro Centre, I go to the pub and have four or five pints while Karen trawls the shops.
“I don’t even know my own clothes size. Karen buys them.”
When it comes to presents, Kevin simply gives her cash and tells her to buy her own. Karen says:
“He doesn’t write cards for birthdays or Christmas. And when it comes to DIY I’ve been waiting four years for a new toilet roll holder to be put in the bathroom.
“His worst DIY offence came when I asked him to paint the outhouse where we store the lawnmower and where our dog Bruce lives. It was looking tatty.
“I got him a tin of paint and after a while he told me he was ‘finished’. I came out to investigate but he’d only done one corner.
“I said, ‘Are you joking?’ and he replied: ‘I’ve done the bit that you can see first when you come in’.”
In his defence, Kevin says: “Yes, I’m lazy but I do work. I’m a driver.
“My job is ideal. The hardest part is opening the door and climbing in the van on a morning.
“But when I get home, I have a bath and then lie in bed watching DVDs. Then I’m asleep by 9pm.
“I never lift a finger. My wife and kids do everything for me. All I have to do is shout their names.”
Kevin also has a zero-energy style of exercising family pet Bruce — he walks him by holding the leash out the car window as son Karl drives him round the block at 5mph.
Kevin adds: “It sounds terrible, but it saves me from getting wet when it’s raining.”
Kevin takes his dog for a walk but doesn't leave the car
Bricklayer Karl says: “My dad is the laziest person I know. He gets in from work at about 5pm and has a bath for an hour. Later he goes to bed and just lies there watching TV.
“He shouts for us to bring his shoes and cups of tea. He expects us to do everything and he does nothing for himself.”
Daughter Charlotte adds: “I hate it when Dad calls for me. I seem to do the most for him.
“Once, he shouted for me when he was lying in bed watching telly. I asked what he wanted and he asked if I could get the remote and change the channel.
“I asked where it was and it was under the pillow he was lying on! I just had to grit my teeth.”
Kevin says: “This all might sound funny but I’d be lost without the kids and Karen.
“I wouldn’t have a clue where to pay the bills or how to pay them. I can’t work the washing machine.
“The only thing I can do is press ‘Start’ on the microwave.
“I’m the richest man in the world as long as I have my wife and kids — I don’t have to lift a finger.
“I’m even thinking of buying a treadmill for the dog next — that means I won’t have to go outside!”
Kevin, wife, daughter and son
This week Kevin was christened the “Great North Bum” after he won a local radio contest to find the region’s laziest man.
His son Karl had called up and described how Kevin walks his dog, clinching him the title.
They both won gym memberships as a result and, amazingly, Kevin has already attended one class.
But he says: “I was so sore the day after. It was too much like hard work!”
|Father God, we love You and we want to work hard for You.|
Help us to use our gifts and utilize the calling that You have placed on our lives.
May we work diligently until Your return! In Jesus' Name, Amen..
God bless you all...