Life is Full of Traps !!!
Can U Read This ?
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid,
aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,
the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe.
yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt !!
How My Husband Broke His Arms....
When the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in. Finally I thought of a clever way to make the point.
When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed me a brush. When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk."
Crying Kidos ( your crying style ? )
don't be shy.. check again and confirm ur crying style
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
2) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my dog, Boxie, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
"What did he do?"
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. ; ; "What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
5) Don’t Let A Child Have Breakfast Alone!!!
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, do you want a date?"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.
My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."
So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, " Hi, do you want a date?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!! !!!"
Rich Hubby ???
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room start listening him.
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only Rs. 60,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "Rs. 90,90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back in the market. They're asking Rs. 4, 90,50,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of Rs. 4,00,00,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra thousands. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone call belongs to?"
Real Fool !!!
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,
"Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of
the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"
The boy licked his cone and replied,
"Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER"
When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself...
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.Then it was already 1p.m.and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,
Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the beef chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, Lord,
I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
Once president BUSH went to a school to interact with the children. After having one brief talk with the children he asked them if they have any question to ask him.
One boy raised his hand and stood up;
Bush:whats your name
Bush: whats your question
John: Sir, I have three questions.
1) Why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO.
2) Where is Osama Bin.
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much.
Bush: You are an intelligent student john. (just then the bell for recess rang)
Oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.
After the recess
Bush: Ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?
Peter raises his hand;
Bush :Whats your name?
Peter : Sir, I have 5 questions.
1) Why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO
2) Where is Osama Bin.
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much.
4) Why did recess bell ring 20 mins before the scheduled time.
5) And, where is JOHN?
Do You Know ?
Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)
Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999
(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)
Letters 'b' & 'c' don't appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)
Letter 'c'does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting.
ReAd aT uR oWn rIsK!!!!
very long discussion which might lead you to know certain truths
Son : Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Dad : Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
Son : But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction?
Dad: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Son : And that's why we invaded Iraq?
Dad: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Son : But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
Dad : That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the election.
Son : Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
Dad : To use them in a war, silly.
Son : I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
Dad : Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Son : That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
Dad : It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Son : I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did?
Dad : Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Son : And what was that?
Dad : Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Son : Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
Dad : Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Son : Kind of like what they do in China?
Dad : Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops and help make U.S corporations richer.
Son : So if a country lets its people exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
Dad : Right.
Son : Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
Dad : For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
Son : Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
Dad : I told you, China is different.
Son : What's the difference between China and Iraq?
Dad : Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
Son : Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
Dad : No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Son : How are the Cuban Communists bad?
Dad : Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government
in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Son : Like in Iraq?
Dad : Exactly.
Son : And like in China, too?
Dad : I told you, China is a good economic competitor.
Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
Son : How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
Dad : Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, the US government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they Stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.
Son : But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
Dad : Don't be smart.
Son : I didn't think I was being one.
Dad : Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
Son : Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
Dad : I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
Son : What's a military coup?
Dad : That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
Son : Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
Dad : You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did,
but Pakistan is our friend.
Son : Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
Dad : I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Son : Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
Dad : Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
Son : Why did we invade Afghanistan?
Dad : Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Son : What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
Dad : Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.
Son : So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
Dad : Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Son : Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics
who chopped off people's heads and hands?
Dad : Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off
people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Son : Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
Dad : Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
Son : Fighting drugs?
Dad : Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Son : How did they do such a good job?
Dad : Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies,
the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Son : So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
Dad : Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off
people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
Son : Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
Dad : That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear Burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
Son : Don't Saudi women have to wear Burqas in public, too?
Dad : No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
Son : What's the difference?
Dad : The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The Burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
Son : It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
Dad : Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
Son : But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September
11th were from Saudi Arabia.
Dad : Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Son : Who trained them?
Dad : A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Son : Was he from Afghanistan?
Dad : Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Son : I seem to recall he was our friend once.
Dad : Only when we helped him and the Mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Son : Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
Dad : There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
Son : So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
Dad : Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
Son : So the French and Germans are evil, too?
Dad : Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Son : Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
Dad : No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Son : But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
Dad : Well, yeah. For a while.
Son : Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
Dad : Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran,
which made him our friend, temporarily.
Son : Why did that make him our friend?
Dad : Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Son : Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
Dad : Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time,
we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Son : So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
Dad : Most of the time, yes.
Son : And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
Dad : Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
Son : Why?
Dad : Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Son : I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
Dad : Yes.
Son : But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
Dad : Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Son : So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W Bush heard voices in his head?
Dad : Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
Son : Good Night, Dad....!
mOrE qUeStIoNs!!! !!
At the auction, the man's eye caught the most beautiful parrot he had ever seen. Determined to have the bird, he began bidding.
Each time he bid, someone out bid him. Higher and higher the bidding went until, finally, he won the bird.
As he was paying the auctioneer for the parrot, he commented, "I certainly hope this parrot can talk. After what I'm paying for him, I would hate to find out that he can't."
"Talk? Don't you worry sir, he can talk," replied the auctioneer.
"Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
There are three engineers in a car, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"
Who's Happy ? Indian or American !
Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.
The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."
The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. "After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.
Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.
And you say you have family problems..Gimme a break!!!!"
A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answers the woman.
"We don't have a maid," says the man.
The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the woman of the house."
The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I
figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make 50,000?"
The maid asks, "What will I have to do?"
The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the lady and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.
The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"
The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool."
A long pause and the man ask, "Oops..! Is this 2261-1382?"
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Self-induced hangover - Rs 1000.00
Broken crockery - Rs 8000.00
Breakfast - Rs 60.00
Saying the Right Thing Even While Drunk – "PRICELESS "
There are truly some things that both
Money and Mastercard can't buy
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden,
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?"
She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was.
The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom.
And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.
But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer? She asked him. "Beautiful during the day .... or at night?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,
But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?
(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT... make YOUR choice before you Scroll down ... OKAY?
Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now... what is the moral to this story?
The moral is...
1) There is a witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.
So, always remember:
IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY"
TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
CHECK THE EXPLANATION.
YOU'LL FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING.
You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?
Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot
identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory
associated with such a scenario.
What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture!
So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child... now...
If it's hard for you to find the dolphins,
your mind is indeed corrupt and you probably need help.
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
" Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
but I never told them anything !! "
What's the difference between people
who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
A little boy went up to his father and asked :
" Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? "
His father replied :
" Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother,
because I still have mine. "
Paul's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :
"Paul seems to be a very bright boy,
but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. "
The mother wrote back the next day :
" If you find a solution, please advise.
I have the same problem with his father ! "
|An Atheist in the Woods..... |
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?
'Very Well,' said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'