Life is Full of Traps !!!

Once president BUSH went to a school to interact with the children. After having one brief talk with the children he asked them if they have any question to ask him.

One boy raised his hand and stood up;

Bush:whats your name
John: john
Bush: whats your question
John: Sir, I have three questions.

     1) Why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO.
    2) Where is Osama Bin.
    3) Why do America support Pakistan so much.

Bush: You are an intelligent student john.  (just then the bell for recess rang)
Oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.

After the recess
Bush: Ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?

Peter raises his hand;

Bush :Whats your name?
Peter : Sir, I have 5 questions.
1) Why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO
2) Where is Osama Bin.
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much.
4) Why did recess bell ring 20 mins before the scheduled time.
5) And, where is JOHN?

  Do You Know ?

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred) 

StAtUtOrY WaRnInG:
ReAd    aT    uR    oWn    rIsK!!!!
very long discussion which might lead you to know certain truths

Son : Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq? 
Dad : Because they had weapons of mass destruction.  

Son : But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction?
Dad: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.  

Son : And that's why we invaded Iraq?
Dad: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.  

Son : But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't   find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
Dad : That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right  before the election. 

Son : Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
Dad : To use them in a war, silly.  

Son : I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they  planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those  weapons when we went to war with  them?
Dad : Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those  weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves. 

Son : That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they  had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
Dad : It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.  

Son : I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those  weapons our government said they did?
Dad : Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those  weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway. 

Son : And what was that?
Dad : Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction,  Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another  good reason to invade another country. 

Son : Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
Dad : Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.  

Son : Kind of like what they do in China?
Dad : Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic  competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops  and help make   U.S corporations richer.  

Son : So if a country lets its people exploited for American corporate gain,  it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
Dad : Right.  

Son : Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
Dad : For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured. 

Son : Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
Dad : I told you, China is different.  

Son : What's the difference between China and Iraq?
Dad : Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party,  while China is Communist.  

Son : Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
Dad : No, just Cuban Communists are bad.  

Son : How are the Cuban Communists bad?
Dad : Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government  
             in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.  

Son : Like in Iraq?
Dad : Exactly.  

Son : And like in China, too?
Dad : I told you, China is a good economic competitor.  
             Cuba, on the other hand, is not.  

Son : How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
Dad : Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, the US government  passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade  or do any business with  Cuba until they Stopped being Communists  and started being capitalists like us.  

Son : But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help  the Cubans become capitalists?
Dad : Don't be smart.  

Son : I didn't think I was being one.
Dad : Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.  

Son : Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
Dad : I told you, stop saying bad things about China.  Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup,  so he's not really a legitimate  leader anyway.  

Son : What's a military coup?
Dad : That's when a military general takes over the government  of a country by force, instead of holding free elections  like we do in the United States. 

Son : Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
Dad : You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did,  
             but Pakistan is our friend.  

Son : Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
Dad : I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate. 

Son : Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power  by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a  nation is an illegitimate  leader?
Dad : Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.  

Son : Why did we invade Afghanistan?
Dad : Because of what they did to us on September 11th.  

Son : What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
Dad : Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them  Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of  them into buildings, killing over  3,000 Americans.  

Son : So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
Dad : Afghanistan was where those bad men trained,  under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.  

Son : Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics  
             who chopped off people's heads and hands?
Dad : Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off  
people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too. 

Son : Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban  43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
Dad : Yes, but that money was a reward because  they did such a good job fighting drugs.  

Son : Fighting drugs?
Dad : Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in  stopping people from growing opium poppies. 

Son : How did they do such a good job?
Dad : Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies,  
             the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.  

Son : So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for  growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's  heads and hands off for  other reasons?
Dad : Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off  
people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off  people's hands for  stealing bread.  

Son : Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
Dad : That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear Burqas whenever  they were in public,  with death by stoning as the penalty for women  who did not comply.  

Son : Don't Saudi women have to wear Burqas in public, too?
Dad : No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.  

Son : What's the difference?
Dad : The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest  yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except  for her eyes  and fingers. The Burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool  of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except  for her eyes and  fingers.  

Son  : It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
Dad : Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia.  The Saudis are our friends.  

Son : But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September  
             11th were from Saudi Arabia.
Dad : Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.  

Son : Who trained them?
Dad : A very bad man named Osama bin Laden. 

Son : Was he from Afghanistan?
Dad : Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too.  But he was a bad man, a very bad man.  

Son : I seem to recall he was our friend once.
Dad : Only when we helped him and the Mujahadeen  repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.  

Son : Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire  Ronald Reagan talked about?
Dad : There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990  or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us.  We call  them Russians now.  

Son : So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
Dad : Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years  after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to  support our  invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now.  We're also mad at the French and the Germans because  they didn't help us invade Iraq either. 

Son : So the French and Germans are evil, too?
Dad : Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename  French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast. 

Son : Do we always rename foods whenever another country  doesn't do what we want them to do?
Dad : No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.  

Son : But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
Dad : Well, yeah. For a while.  

Son : Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
Dad : Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran,  
             which made him our friend, temporarily.  

Son : Why did that make him our friend?
Dad : Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.  

Son : Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
Dad : Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time,  
             we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.  

Son  : So anyone who fights against one of our enemies  automatically becomes our friend?
Dad : Most of the time, yes.  

Son : And anyone who fights against one of our friends  is automatically an enemy?
Dad : Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations  can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better. 

Son : Why?
Dad : Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America also, since God is on America's side,  anyone who opposes war is a godless  un-American Communist.  Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?  

Son : I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
Dad : Yes.  

Son : But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
Dad : Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.  

Son : So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W Bush heard voices in his head?
Dad : Yes! You finally understand how the world works.  Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night. 

Son : Good Night, Dad....!  

mOrE qUeStIoNs!!! !!

At the auction, the man's eye caught the most beautiful parrot he had ever seen. Determined to have the bird, he began bidding.   Each time he bid, someone out bid him. Higher and higher the bidding went until, finally, he won the bird.   As he was paying the auctioneer for the parrot, he commented, "I certainly hope this parrot can talk. After what I'm paying for him, I would hate to find out that he can't."   "Talk? Don't you worry sir, he can talk," replied the auctioneer.   "Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

Three Engineers There are three engineers in a car, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"

Who's Happy ? Indian or American !

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now  have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. "After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.

Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.
And you say you have family problems..Gimme a break!!!!"

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answers the woman. "We don't have a maid," says the man. The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the woman of the house." The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband." The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make 50,000?" The maid asks, "What will I have to do?" The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the lady and the jerk she's with." The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?" The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool." A long pause and the man ask, "Oops..! Is this 2261-1382?"

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!" Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!" Moral Self-induced hangover - Rs 1000.00 Broken crockery - Rs 8000.00 Breakfast - Rs 60.00 Saying the Right Thing Even While Drunk – "PRICELESS " There are truly some things that both Money and Mastercard can't buy

The question Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?" She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life." Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half. "Which would you prefer? She asked him. "Beautiful during the day .... or at night?" Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with? (If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be? (If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be? What Lancelot chose, is given below: BUT... make YOUR choice before you Scroll down ... OKAY?     Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.   Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now... what is the moral to this story? The moral is... 1) There is a witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is! 2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.            So, always remember: IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY"

TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW. WHAT DO YOU SEE? CHECK THE EXPLANATION. YOU'LL FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING.     You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right? Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario. What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture! So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child... now... If it's hard for you to find the dolphins, your mind is indeed corrupt and you probably need help.

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? " Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything !! "   What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos? The ones in the casinos are serious. When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.      A little boy went up to his father and asked : " Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? " His father replied :  " Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine. "   Paul's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : "Paul seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. " The mother wrote back the next day : " If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father ! "