Almost everyone who’s had premarital sex has a tragic story. That’s because sex before marriage is full of ugly surprises, heavy price tags and life-long scars.
What about you?
Are you dating someone and wondering if you should have sex? Take my advice, don’t do it! Wait till you get married. Otherwise you’ll end up saying, “If I had only known.” And waiting’s not so bad anyway. You can still have an exciting life with great relationships, fun times and real love – all without sex before marriage. We want you to have the facts so you can make the best decisions possible for yourself regarding sex, love and life.
True love waits
You see, love is about a lot more than sex, and sex is about more than pleasure and physical desires. Sex is about totally committed love. It’s about bonding for life. It’s about babies and more. That’s why you should save sex for the committed love of marriage. Many youth realize this and they’re happy to be waiting.
Why are they waiting?
They’re saving sex as a wedding gift for that meaningful, emotionally fulfilling – in essence, the ultimate – lifetime sexual partner that they marry. Controversial? Yes, but you’ll find that waiting for marriage is the best way to go. Read on and you’ll find numerous testimonies from experts, celebrities and peers to prove it. Plus, studies show that saving sex for marriage builds self-respect, willpower, trust, strong communication skills and true love – essential ingredients if you want to build a solid foundation for a life-long marriage.
Keith and Tami Kiser on thier wedding day!
We Waited - and so can you!Tami
Amazing as this may sound, Tami and I were both virgins when we got married. It wasn’t easy – let me tell you – but we’re glad we waited!
We started dating in the ninth grade and dated for seven years before we were married. As our love and commitment grew, sexual temptations became a real struggle. We were both practicing Christians who wanted to please God. But, even though God said “No,” our bodies were shouting “Yes!” And it seemed our bodies were screaming louder!
Resisting Sexual Temptations
Hormones were racing! We wanted to wait, but our flesh was saying “go for it.” TV, movies and music made matters worse. Their messages encouraged “sex, sex and more sex.” Our conviction to wait was weakening. Sexual impurity, leading toward intercourse, was destroying our relationship. Pain, sin, guilt, and confusion were breaking us apart.
On the brink of disaster, we made a commitment to save sex for marriage and to pray together regularly. We reinforced our decision by reading a book together about maintaining sexual purity in a dating relationship. Committed to chastity, we helped each other fight sexual temptations. It was hard at times, but we developed great discipline and respect for each other. A new openness and trust grew in our relationship and our love flourished and deepened.
Now we can gratefully say that when we finally got married, we were both virgins. We can’t tell you how great our honeymoon was – and we won’t! Let’s just say it was worth the wait. We had struggled, but we won the battles and we’re both happier, stronger and more in love because we waited.
“One Flesh” – What’s That Like?
Tami and I share everything – our worldly possessions, our thoughts, our dreams, our emotions, our fears, our pains, our prayers, our entire selves. Sharing our bodies is the physical expression of our total giving to each other. Sex is not only a sign of our love, it also unites and bonds us like a human super-glue, giving us grace and strength to overcome adversity.
When a couple becomes “one flesh,” it’s the most intimate “knowing” possible. Not only do you bare your body, but you also bare your emotions and your soul. This giving of your most private self, and the receiving of your spouse’s most private self, are magnificent privileges. But if either partner can “walk away,” the gift and privilege are misused and cheapened. Love means wanting the very best for a person forever. To have sex without the committed love of marriage hurts and usually destroys the entire relationship.
Sex also brings forth babies as a sign of the love between a husband and wife. Isn’t it incredible that a spiritual and physical union of love can create new life? Imagine that – two people so in love that their gift to each other creates a new child – a new person – a son or daughter like you and me with a soul that will live forever. (Pretty cool! Co-creators with God!)
And babies need strong families with loving mothers and fathers. That’s the ideal situation and that’s one reason God designed sex specifically for married couples. Sex is for bonding and babies, and before marriage, these both have painfully grave consequences.
What Should you do if You’ve Already Started?
We realize that you may already be having sex and you’re wondering why after giving so much of yourself, your relationship is still floundering. Just because you’re having sex, it doesn’t mean you’re giving your “all” or receiving their “all.” Even if two people say they love each other, they’re not really giving their all if they haven’t publicly vowed to commit their entire lives to each other, “Until death do us part.”
Outside of marriage, sexual intimacy usually indicates that at least one party is acting without self-control in a selfish or dishonest manner. This destroys the relationship by becoming a wedge and a stumbling block to the development of mature love. Premarital sex guarantees you that sooner or later, you’ll have a major communication breakdown.
To resuscitate your current relationship and to protect your future marriage, you need to stop all sexual activity immediately, including all foreplay. Give your love a fighting chance to deepen and flourish. It may seem impossible at first, but you can do it! You and your current flame (and your future spouse and your children) will be very grateful that today you made a commitment to save sex for marriage. And if you’ve already made this commitment – congratulations!
Rebecca St. James
On February 23, 2000, Rebecca St. James won her first Grammy Award, for Best Rock Gospel Album. A native of Australia, she is also the youngest performer ever to be nominated for the prestigious Dove Award for New Artist of the Year. Rebecca wows audiences with her pure voice and pure soul.
Hard work paid off for Rebecca as she scooped up her Grammy for “Pray” at the 42nd annual Grammy Awards. In her acceptance speech at The Staples Center in Los Angeles, she said, “First, I want to thank God. He is my best friend, the reason I live, my inspiration and the reason I do what I do.”
It’s no wonder Rebecca’s albums are so popular. Her music videos, “No Secrets” and “You’re the Voice,” show she’s as talented as any female rocker in the world. However, what really separates Rebecca from other rockers are her views on God, love and life.
Purity is a very important virtue to this 23-year-old singer. Rebecca is a virgin and she says she’ll remain one until she gets married. On her right ring finger, she wears a gold band. During a concert in Colorado Springs, she told her audience: “I’d like to tell you about this ring I’m wearing. It is a promise ring, and when my parents gave it to me, they said it was to symbolize my commitment to wait until marriage to have sex. I can tell you right now, I will be waiting for that special person God has planned for me.”
As a national spokeswoman for the True Love Waits campaign since age 16, Rebecca has spoken to hundreds of thousands of teens about the benefits of saving sex for marriage. Her views of love are deeply grounded. Unlike Hollywood, where love is often portrayed as a “spell” you fall under, or an urge that makes you “love-crazy” to jump into bed, Rebecca speaks of love as patient, kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way.
What does Rebecca think of “safe sex” campaigns? Not much. She has more confidence in kids, and she says, “I don’t buy the argument that teenagers can’t control themselves or that they need to be taught to use birth control devices to protect themselves. Teenagers can handle the pressure. I have seen thousands of teenagers sign commitment cards pledging themselves to wait until marriage.”
Thousands of young women write Rebecca to thank her for taking a stand. Some letters come from women who’ve fallen for sex outside of marriage. One woman wrote, “I’ve had troubles my whole adult life as a result of the bad choice to have remarital sex, which led to an abortion, a bad marriage and divorce.”
Rebecca’s fans love her music and her encouraging words about life and its purpose. “Your teenage years are a gift,” she points out. “Use them wisely. You can make a difference in this world by giving your life to serving and helping others who are less fortunate. Your teenage years are a great time to be active. . . You can be a voice of hope in this world. If you are willing to take a stand for what is right, God can use you.”
1995 Miss Black California
Following is the speech Lakita gave to The U.S. House Committee's Small Business Subcommittee on Empowerment, chaired by Rep. Mark Souder. The 1998 hearings focused on the social and economic consequences of teenage pregnancy. Lakita said:
"I am a '20-something' year old black female, a former 2nd-runner up to Miss Black America, an entertainer, president of a corporation, and a virgin. I've had the unique opportunity to be invited by School Districts, Abstinence groups, and even state organizations such as the Department of Health and Human Services and Office of Family Planning in California, to share the message of abstinence.
I've spoken to nearly a million teenagers of different racial and socio-economic backgrounds in assemblies across America over the past 9 years. My greatest motivation in doing so is to empower them with some of the same tools I was fortunate enough to grow up with, which I feel are lacking in our culture today. The first thing I communicate to teens and adults alike is the fact that abstinence is not just shaking ones finger at a generation and telling them to 'just say no' to sex. Abstinence is a lifestyle. It is mastering the art of:
These three components are not just the foundation of an abstinent lifestyle that will enable young people to postpone sexual evolvement, but the necessary traits every individual must have in order to achieve anything in life. I believe, I'm sure as any rational individual, that a permissive undisciplined lifestyle has never, and never will, produce sustained success or excellence. Many may ask what qualifies me to make such a bold statement. My great-aunt often said, "the proof is in the pudding."
I grew up near a project community in Southern California in which Money Magazine said in the late 80's was one of the worst places in America to raise children. After serving in Korea and Viet Nam my father died of cancer a few years after his retirement. Therefore my mother, a primary school teacher, was left to raise my four older brothers and myself.
An abstinence message wasn't very popular in our community and she was thought to be quite old-fashioned for insisting that her children practice self-control, selfdiscipline, and the delay of self-gratification- in all areas. We indeed were the laughing stock of the community, but the proof is in the pudding and here's a taste of its results. Of all those who grew up with my brothers in that community, we were the only complete family to make it out.
Moreover, my mother raised a doctor, lawyer, engineer, a career naval serviceman, and I finished college in less than four years. Abstinence is not a 'just say no' program that exclusively applies to sex but a lifestyle that spills over into every aspect of a young person's life.
The future of this nation rests in the hands of the generation that will follow you. It cannot be gambled away by choosing to ignore the casualties left over nearly 30 years by the Sexual Revolution. I am neither a registered democrat nor a registered republican and all of us must cease to reduce an issue as important as this one down to left, right, liberal, conservative, but instead focus on what's right and wrong.
To more vividly share what I have witnessed over these past few years, I'd like to put it in the context of the 10 most commonly shared opinions about teens and sexuality:
1. It can't happen to me.
2. We just need to teach them safe sex.
3. They're gonna do it anyway.
4. Sex is a natural bodily function that can't be controlled.
5. It's too late to teach them ABSTINENCE.
6. Well, I think as long as you love the person, it's perfectly okay.
7. Kids will never buy into an abstinence message.
8. Hey, if it feels good, do it.
9. You should be able to do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt anybody.
10. What people do behind closed doors is nobody elses business.
"We must remember that intelligence is not enough,
intelligence plus character
is the true goal of education."
Kim shares her thoughts on Self-Respect, Sex, Life, Abortion & Marriage
Kim Alexis is a world famous supermodel blessed with great insight and wisdom. Below, Kim shares her views on self-respect, sex, life and marriage.
Kim on Respecting Yourself and Saving Sex:
"When we are young, one of our most fragile emotions is self-respect. Remember that others treat you as they sense you treat yourself -- meaning -- if you feel really good about you, then others will naturally treat you with that same respect.
There are many ways that we try to gain self-respect or even hold on to what we have. By having sex before marriage we lose that self-respect. God gave us certain rules to live by so that we can be happy. Having sex before marriage causes pain and consequences ALWAYS. Young people need to realize that they should say "NO" to sex before marriage because it is wrong and causes serious consequences. One of these can be an unplanned pregnancy, and unfortunately, many women then make the wrong decision to have an abortion.
In the Bible it says when two people are joined in marriage they become one. Part of the reason that they become one is the union of their bodies. Sharing your body with someone you don't know well -- or even with someone that you love very much, but are not married to -- is wrong because God says we should save the sex act for marriage. We all need to have a fear of doing wrong, a fear of God Almighty."
Kim on The Value of Life:
"I think that our whole country needs to have more love and compassion for all children. All life is valuable and a gift from God. Pregnancy is not something that "just happens." Pregnancy is a gift from God. I think it is God telling us "OK, you are responsible enough to raise this new young life that I, God, am going to give you." And for people who can't conceive children, God may be asking you for an even more generous response -- to adopt and raise a child."
Kim on The "M" Word -- Marriage:
"I realize that my marriage to my husband is precious and needs to be maintained. I have no desire to be unfaithful because I know that would be wrong, and that by being faithful, I stay away from alot of pain and suffering. My strong marriage, and my walk with the Lord, are the basis for my happiness. When I work on my marriage by giving my time and conversation to my husband, I find I am much happier and that this joy overflows into other relationships. It also enables me to have great relationships with my children and people at work.
"My husband has the qualities from Galatians 5:22; kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, and faithfulness. He also has a real love for children and strives for the truth in all situations. A healthy marriage needs God right in the center. Husbands, love your wives as you love yourselves, and wives, submit to your husbands.
"My roles of wife and mother are way more important than my career. They come first. I think of them before I accept any job."
Kim with her baby.
Kim Alexis Biography
Kim Alexis has appeared on the cover of over 500 magazines around the world as one of America's leading supermodels.
She was the Fashion Editor of "Good Morning America" for three years and she hosted two of her own cable shows, "Healthy Kids" on the Family Channel and "Ticket to Adventure with Kim Alexis" on the Travel Channel.
She has appeared as a guest star on the ABC television series, "The Commish," was in the final episode of "Cheers," and filmed a movie of the week for NBC called "Perry Mason: The Case of the Wicket Wives." Most recently she guest starred in the hit television show, "Hope and Gloria."
Kim and her husband playing with four of their children.
|"I'm saving sex for marriage because I want my virginity to be a gift to my future wife. If a friend was afraid of losing her boyfriend because she wanted to say 'No' to sex, I would tell her to let the boy go.If he truly loves her, he won't make her do anything she's not comfortable with." |
— JOSHUA HAMILTON, 20, Mount Juliet, Tennessee
"Many girls who are having pre-marital sex are looking for love in the wrong places. The best reasons for saving sex for marriage are to keep yourself pure for your husband and to live your life away from that sin."
— MARISOL GARCIA, 16, Wilmington, California
|"My virginity is the one gift that I have never given anyone, and on my honeymoon night I can give my gift to the one person I will be with forever. I avoid pressures to have sex by dating a Godly woman who does a wonderful job of not tempting me. We also stay out of environments in which it would be difficult to stay controlled." |
— DAVID SHIPPS, 21
|“I know it's true love when I care more about someone else's happiness than my own. I avoid pressures to have sex by not even getting close to it. My boyfriend and I have decided to respect each other's bodies. As long as private parts remain private, it's easier to avoid sex until you're married. I do not wear revealing clothes because it encourages guys to lust. (Face the facts, girls!) I also like knowing that my husband is the only man who'll see so much of my body.” |
— RACHEL SHEPARD, 17 Mt. Juliet, Tennessee
|"I don't want to share the physical intimacy of sex with anyone other than my husband primarily because without the spiritual intimacy one cannot experience the fullness or joy of sex. In other words, premarital sex is cheating and it robs you of self-respect. I avoid pressures to have sex by dating guys of like mind and beliefs. That means guys who don't just 'understand' your beliefs but who accept and profess them."|
— KATHARINE BYRNE, 21 Dublin, Irelan
|"Think twice before giving away that special gift meant for your spouse. I'm a virgin and I've found that not having sex is one of the smartest things I've done in life. When you prove to yourself that you can control one of the greatest feelings on earth within you, you’ll find that all other tasks in life become easier"|
— EDDIE REAY, 20, Newbury Park, California
If you want to experience true love, a great relationship and a lasting marriage, GuardainAngel.in can help you. In addition, please read on and consider to inform your friends, relatives, children, neighbors and young men and women at churches, schools and in your community.
Everyday, more and more youth are harmed by exposure to trash media and our sex-crazed culture. Abortion, pre-marital sex, pornography, infidelity and STDs are out of control! With your help, we can guide millions of these teenagers and college students across the World! We can save many from the painful and devastating consequences of pre-marital sex and abortion. Abortion has also ravaged the lives of millions of women (and men) who now suffer from post-abortion trauma.
Other signs of the "sexual revolution" include skyrocketing divorce rates and an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases.
How can we turn this sexual crisis around? True love is the answer. Generous, disciplined, selfless love is the only way to find lasting peace and happiness. We must love our neighbors as ourselves. We must teach our children to love by example. We must encourage our media and our culture to stop portraying people as sex objects.
- Save sex for marriage.
- Choose life, not abortion.
- Be forewarned about contraceptive dangers.
- Make virtuous decisions that lead to happiness.
"Sex is so powerful that it's often blinding before marriage. That's one of the reasons I say, 'Don't shack up!' If you're sexually active, my first recommendation is to stop having sex immediately. With sex out of the picture, it will be easier to see how each of you responds in the critical areas that build strong, healthy, lasting relationships. It's definitely challenging to save sex for marriage - but it's worth the wait and it helps assure a happier marriage. Go ahead - make the commitment. You'll be glad you waited!"
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One mind awake can awaken another,
The second awake can awaken their next door brother.
Three awake can awaken the town
by turning the whole place upside down.
Many awake can make such a change
that they finally awaken the rest of us
Sanctify me Oh God
Cleanse my body, mind and soul
Purify me and make me whole.
Help me to put off my old self
Corrupted by all its deceitful desires
Create me anew in your likeness O Lord
Make me rightour and holy.
Let me not confirm any longer
To the pattern set by the ways of the world
May I offer myself as a living sacrifice
That is holy and pleasing.
Strengthen me with power through your Spirit
Transform me christ in the full of Your love
That I may perceive the length the breadth the depth
And the height of Your love Lord.